Empathy

Empathy is defined as the ability to feel the feelings of another person. You can put yourself in their shoes and feel their happiness or in this case their pain. For the last eight years I've watched on TV as the names of the people lost on 9/11 were read aloud at Ground Zero. I saw in the crowd people holding photos of the loved one they lost. Each photo a story of a life cut short. This year I saw some of those family members in person. I SAW the photos with my own eyes..not on TV..right in front of me. All the faces I'd only seen on a television screen were looking back at me. The family members were passing me in the crowd. None of them knowing how far I'd traveled to be there. I was just another face among many.

We left before all the names were read and went down into the subway. On the bench in front of me was an elderly lady with two young men sitting on each side of her. In her arms in front of her she clutched a photo. The closer we got I was able to see it better. The face looking back at me was a handsome man in a fireman's uniform. His smile was so bright. Just one of those smiles who could put you at ease. She had his picture held tightly against her chest..close to her heart I expect. From her age and the age he looked to be, I guessed it was her son. I thought of my own son. I can't imagine the pain a mother would go through losing her child, grown or not. Parents just aren't supposed to bury their children. I watched her as she held the picture..staring blankly at the floor. I just wanted to hug her and tell her how sorry I was for her loss. I remembered in my pocket I had an angel penny. I walked over to her and took her hand gently and placed the penny in her palm. Lightly squeezing her hand as I did. I will never forget her eyes as she looked up at me. The look of sadness, loss, hurt, grief and pain in those deep brown eyes was unbearable. I just looked back into them, turned and without saying a word walked away. When I was a few feet away I looked back to her and she was gone...like she and the men with her vanished. I assumed the train came before I turned back..but when I told my son William the story he made me think twice....he said, "Well mama...maybe they were angels....." Maybe so William.....maybe so...

If that mother had anything good happen all day, I'm hoping my angel was part of it.

Thank You Paulie

As a parent, I think all you want is for your children to be happy. You do what you can, with what you have and when you can. You would you move mountains if you could..whatever it takes. But sometimes you fall short and the disappointment is almost more than you can bear. This feeling of disappointment was weighing heavily on my heart when I left home last Thursday morning. After declining the offer of a new home last year, my one and only regret was I wasn't going to meet the cast/design team of Extreme Makeover Home Edition EMHE for short. It's one of my favorite shows. Last week they came to Savannah to build a home for a local family. Bill and I volunteered to help and we were able to meet the design team...but my kids weren't. Madison was so upset with me. She cried on the way home. I felt like a complete failure. Thursday was the last day..my last chance to make it happen. Madison made a poster..an "I LOVE YOU PAULIE" poster to be exact. The kids and I are standing with all the other people who gathered to watch them "move that bus" ..while Bill is doing his best to get them a chance to meet the team. I was never really sure about fate or destiny..until now. Within a matter of minutes we were placed in a VIP spectator section. Still in shock over that...Madison has her poster..and who sees it? Paul DiMeo himself. He came over to her and she was so overwhelmed that she started to cry again. This kind hearted man took my daughter by the hand with my son following behind and gave them a personal tour of the home. When they came back, she was speechless. As if that tour wasn't enough he asked her to hold his camera! I don't think I've ever seen her glow like that. Her happiness was on the inside and it was showing on the outside.

My words can't convey what was and still is in my heart. How do you thank someone for going above the call for your child? For giving them a memory that you know they will cherish for a lifetime? EMHE gives people homes, they change lives. That day..the family getting the home weren't the only ones whose lives were being changed..my family was being changed as well. The bus moved and a wish was granted for the Simpson family..and with a hug from a kind hearted man my daughter's dream came true as well. Thank you Paulie....I'm forever grateful to you.

Simple Things

In today's world we have so many ways of staying in touch. The one that I use most often is text messaging. It's quick, easy and requires very little effort. I don't think I ever really gave much thought to how much a text could mean. I doubt most people ever really think about it when they're sending one. A couple of weeks ago I was at USO and I saw exactly how much a text can mean. It was a deployment flight going to Iraq and it was around 5 AM. I was standing behind my table waiting to help any soldier who needed anything. A female soldier about my age came over and asked if she could charge her cell phone in the outlet behind my table. I told her sure and she bent down and plugged it in. She said that she had to hurry because her fiance would be texting her. She said that every morning he sent a text when he woke up. No matter where he was. That the moment his eyes opened he reached for his cell and sent her a message. I smiled as I thought of how sweet that was. She plugged it in and went to walk away but before she got 10 feet away it went off. She ran back, got on her knees and picked up her phone. From a distance I watched a smile spread across her face. Her whole face just lit up in happiness. A happiness I knew came from her heart. She read the message and sighed. I saw her begin to type back. She lowered her head and I saw her wipe a tear from her cheek. She finished typing, hit send and put her phone back down. She just sat there looking at the floor with her hands in her lap. I could feel her sadness in my own heart. I just wanted to hug her and comfort her. But I didn't want to intrude on her. I saw her wipe her eyes, get to her feet and walk toward the ladies room. I followed her and she stopped to talk to another soldier. I passed next to her and without stopping or saying a word I put an angel penny into her palm. I gently gave her hand a little squeeze and went into our store room. I never looked back. When I came back out she was there waiting for me. She looked at me and mouthed the words "thank you". I patted her arm, went back to my table and stood there fighting back tears. I thought of how much every morning she will miss those text messages. I thought of her fiance reaching for his phone to send her a message...but she isn't there to text. It made me grateful for all the simple things I take for granted. Sadly it took someone else's pain to remind me to appreciate things before they're gone.

The 2297th Victim

The 2996 Project was made so that all the victims, 2,996, would be remembered on this day. In my heart it should 2,997..because one victim who had no voice is almost always forgotten. Most people have never heard of him...well here he is..and here's my remembrance of him.

On this day eight years ago the world was changed forever. The victims of September 11 should never be forgotten. I'm taking this day to remember a victim who had four legs instead of two. A victim who I feel is forgotten because he wasn't a human. He was a Port Authority Police Canine. A four and a half year 90 pound yellow lab named Sirius. And the only canine officer killed in the collapse of the World Trade Center.

On the morning of September 11, 2001 when the first plane hit Sirius was put in his kennel in the basement of tower 2 by his partner Officer David Lim. David told him, "Wait here boy, I'll be back for you." But sadly he never made it back for his partner. David Lim was trapped in a stairwell when the first tower collapsed. While trapped he kept repeating, "Oh no, my dog. I have to save my dog." But Officer Lim along with several others weren't rescued from the rubble for many hours. In the meantime the second tower had collapsed, taking the life of his faithful partner as he sat waiting in his kennel.

On January 22, 2002 Officer Lim received a phone call from Ground Zero, his partner had been found. He returned to the site where his partner had been placed on a gurney and covered with an American flag. As he carried his friend's remains from the rubble all the work on the site stopped. The big machines silenced and salutes were given as Officer Lim made good on his word. He came back for his partner.

On April 24, 2002 a memorial service for Sirius was held in Liberty State Park. Over 100 police and search and rescue dogs attended the memorial. Many of their badges covered by a black ribbon. A trumpeter sounded Taps and bagpipes played Amazing Grace. A single pallbearer carried Sirius' ashes in a wooden urn. Handlers and dogs from as far away as California paid tribute to a fallen officer. Officer Lim was presented with Sirius' water bowl which was recovered from his kennel. It had been inscribed with the words "I gave my life, so that you may save others." In his words to the crowd in attendence Officer Lim said,"I grieve for many friends that I lost that day. I grieve for all those that I didn't know. I also grieve for the best partner I ever had. "

May the dog star shine forever bright in the night sky..you will never be forgotten Sirius.

Robert J. Mayo

True heroism is remarkably sober and very undramatic. It is not the urge to surpass all others at whatever cost. But the urge to serve others at whatever cost.

September 11th 2001 was a day I won't ever forget. It was a tragedy, but out of tragedy came stories. Stories of courage, love, compassion, loss and sacrifice..and stories of everyday people becoming heroes. Please allow me to take the time to introduce you to one of those heroes. He was a 46 year old deputy fire safety director at the World Trade Center. His name was Robert J. Mayo. His life was lost when the second tower collapsed. But before I tell of his demise, I'd like to share a few things I learned about his life..a life taken far too soon. He was a husband to Meryl and a father to an only son Corbin. He had a big heart and took in and nursed stray animals back to health. He loved planning family vacations. He enjoyed landscaping and working around his house. He and Corbin were both huge Giants fans. So much so that they turned their family room into a "shrine". They put on Giants hats, drank from Giants glasses and watched the games together. He was a thoughtful and loving father to his son. Leaving notes each day to his son..scraps of paper, backs of envelopes or napkins..just anything to leave a message on..whether it was good luck on your test, have a nice day or most importantly...I love you..he made sure Corbin knew he thought of him. And on the second anniversary of the attacks..Corbin was able to say all the things he never got to say to his dad before he died.

Corbin Mayo wanted to speak to his father again.

Two years ago, on Sept. 11, the boy began calling his father's cellphone. He called for days. Robert J. Mayo never picked up. Mr. Mayo, a contract fire safety director for the Port Authority of New York and New Jersey, had helped evacuate a building and stayed on duty despite his wife's pleas over the telephone to leave. He died in the south tower.

Yesterday, a slightly taller, tougher Corbin Mayo, now 13, strode across the stage at ground zero to read the names of some of the missing. His gray suit was a touch too big, as if waiting for the boy to grow into it. Then, before a sea of tear-streaked faces, he said: ''And my father, Robert Mayo. I love you.''

They were words his father needed to hear, he said earlier -- words that held a new and bittersweet meaning. It was through Mr. Mayo's death, and only after Corbin's anger began to thaw, that the son could touch the truth about his father: He was a brave man.

''I want to tell my dad that I care about him much more than I did before,'' said Corbin, an only child who lives with his mother, Meryl, in Marlboro, N.J. ''I care about him a gazillion times more.''

September 9th, 2002 Corbin was presented the Medal of Valor at the White House in honor of his dad. He spoke of how proud he was of him because of his bravery. I have little doubt that Robert Mayo is looking down on his son and wife and is equally as proud of them.

When you sign up to write these tributes it's difficult because you are truly writing about someone you never met..a total stranger. But once you research them, you feel as if you are somehow connected. And although I never got the chance to meet him, I am connected to his family now...after seeing the Early Show piece about my USO work his wife made a donation in my honor to the USO. It truly touched my heart to have someone who had lost so much be willing to honor me. I just hope this piece doesn't let her down.

Robert Mayo could have easily ran from the building and saved himself. Instead he chose to stay behind and help others get out. No one knows exactly how many lives he saved on that day. All I can say is he sacrificed his own so that others may live.

What we do for ourselves dies with us. What we do for others and the world remains and is immortal.

Coming Through Our Line

There's something really special about sunrise on the tarmac. Because sometimes it's the last sunrise the soldiers will see on American soil for a while and sometimes it's the first sunrise they see back on American soil. I'm blessed to be part of either one. This day started out bittersweet. I was working my third deployment flight for that day. It was around 6:30am and I had been at the terminal since 12:30 the night before. I still had three more flights to work. The sun was rising, soldiers were walking to the plane and the whole sky was a beautiful deep pink. The color that only mother nature can you give you and can't be duplicated. I'm watching the soldiers go by wondering if they notice the sky. the last sunrise they will see on American soil for a long time. I just quietly watch..lost in my thoughts. When the soldiers leave they pass thru a line of American flags..on one side the flags are held by the Red Cross on the other by USO..there's seldom less than 4 large flags billowing as they pass and the volunteers cheer them on. The same is true when they come home. they walk thru the line of flags, cheering volunteers and well wishers. The plane loaded and took off. We watched until it disappeared into the morning sky. Then we all went in and got ready for the next flight...but this was a homecoming. I'm in the store room when I hear a lot of people talking. A lady comes in our room and says there's a wounded soldier in the building and his unit is on the plane. He has come to meet them. I finished what I was doing and walked out of the store room. There he was..a smiling happy guy..in a wheel chair..with 2 little boys a wife and his dog. :) We got word the plane was coming so went out and lined up like always. We saw him making his way over to the plane stairs. I noticed someone with a walker. We all thought maybe a second wounded warrior was on the plane..but nope. When the soldiers started getting off the plane, from across the tarmac, I saw that soldier stand and greet his battle buddies. And he stood up using the walker until every soldier was off the plane. I was so busy watching him I wasn't paying much attention to the soldiers who were home and passing me! Each one going thru our line of flags and cheers. I saw him being wheeled back over to where we all were. He took a place closest to the door but back from our line. I couldn't take my eyes off him. I'm not sure if I have ever seen that much emotion in a person's face. He was smiling ear to ear..but something just bothered me. That's when I realized..he hadn't been given a "proper" Savannah homecoming..he hadn't come thru the line. So I asked a Warrant Officer with him to please see if he would go thru. She went over bent down and whispered to him. The look on his face brought me to tears. He looked down the line at the flags and in a few minutes went to the beginning of the line and waited. We always stay outside until every soldier is in the building. It's hard to tell how many are left since they all wear the same thing lol. One of the volunteers said.."ok..that's it. They've all come thru" I said no, that's not it yet." He looks and says oh yeah I see one more coming...when that soldier passed the volunteer AGAIN..said that's it..I said no it's not..he looked at me funny and started to say something else..I'm usually very quiet and don't speak out much..which explains the look of shock on his face when I firmly said NO IT'S NOT it..we have one more...and I nodded to the soldier in the wheel chair..the volunteer said..oh well he doesn't count..he's not coming thru the line..I said like HELL HE DOESN'T COUNT!! And he IS coming thru so stand down and wait...thankfully the soldier in the wheelchair didn't hear any of this..and with the last of the soldiers off the plane thru the line..his wife pushed him thru the flags, down the line to the loudest cheers anyone got all day...his face was beaming with pride, my eyes were blurred with tears...he came thru the line..and now he was officially home.

My first night as a USO volunteer was January 22, 2005...a night I will never forget!


Last night I went to Hunter Army Air field, here in Savannah. I went as a volunteer for the USO. It was first trip and I sort of nervous. I get really emotional when it comes to certain things. And our troops as you probably know happen to be one of those things. There were a couple hundred troops from the 3rdID leaving last night. So I went to help. My job was hand out Krispy Kreme doughnuts! OH NO not Krispy Kreme!! Anyway, I was so amazed at how relaxed and young these guys were!! They were ready to do their job. I watched them line up and board the plane. I was lucky enough to be on the tarmac when they left. I stood in the 30* temp waving a tiny flag. I watched a plane filled with American pride disappear into the night sky. I watched the lights until I could no longer see them. I wish I could describe what I saw and the feelings that I felt. I am overcome by the emotions today. I hope I can go back many many more times. I wish I could have thanked each one of them. But instead I had several actually thank ME! Thank ME for standing there and handing out doughnuts. They made a special effort to come and say thank you. There are just no words to express my gratitude to them.