Yesterday I Laid A Wreath

Yesterday was Wreaths Across America. I attended the ceremony at Fort Stewart and it was called Wreaths For Warriors Walk. It was a chilly day, but the sky was as beautiful a blue as it could be. This year I laid my wreath on the tree of David Kirkpatrick. A young man I never met, but I sent off to Iraq. a young man whose family I have become quite fond of. They live in Indiana, so in their absence I chose his tree. I also took some Christmas ornaments to hang in his tree. I got my wreath from a table covered in green wreaths with red ribbons..all waiting to be placed on their trees. I walked to his tree and was surprised to see the teddy bear I placed there in July still there and in good shape. I placed his wreath at the trunk of his tree and fluffed the red bow. I placed his bear in the middle of the wreath. I then placed the faded family photo next to the bear. I thought of the family who has been left with a hole..an empty place that will never be filled. I swallowed the tears and let out a deep breath. I was surprised when i turned to see a tall young man in Class A's and a CAV hat standing behind me watching me..his wife by his side. I turned back to the tree and hung his stocking. Feeling a little unnerved by them standing behind me I turned and asked if he knew David? He stepped forward and said," Yes mam..he was my room mate." I asked him if he'd like to help me hang the ornaments on the tree? " I would love to help you mam." he said. So together he and i decorated the tree. He talked about David and all the good times they had together. He said he missed him terribly. I had a silver star in the bag of ornaments..and I told him it seemed only fitting that he put the star on the tree. His eyes welled up with tears and he said thank you. He chose a branch high up in the tree for the star and tied it.We stood back and admired our work and talked for a bit longer. I asked if he had ever met David's family? He said no because he was deployed and with those words his voice broke and tears filled his eyes once more. He said it should have been him that night instead of David. He said he blamed himself. I hugged him and told him no...I put my hand on his shoulder and looked up at him..looked him in the eyes and shook my head no. I told him things happen that we can't control. It was not his fault and for him not to blame himself..as i spoke to him tears fell down my own cheeks. My heart broke for this young man..this proud young soldier standing before me so filled with remorse. I had no comfort to offer him. No words i could say could help his pain. I could only try to reassure him that it wasn't his fault..and when my words fell silent we turned our attention back to the tree of his friend. It was then that we noticed..OUR tree was the ONLY one blooming. The tiny pink flowers in all their glory..right there for this special day..on this special tree..of a special young man whose life was taken too soon.

He Brought It Home...

I spent much of November sending off the Texas National Guard. The fact that Thanksgiving was only a few weeks away didn't escape me. I couldn't help but think of them and their families on Thanksgiving. the empty chairs they would have at the dinner tables on that day and every day until the deployment is over. I got to spend a lot of time with several of the deploying national guardsmen. I made several good friends..so my heart has been a bit heavier this year than usual. But my life as a volunteer is an emotional roller coaster..I go from sending soldiers off and them miss Thanksgiving to bringing them home just in time for Christmas. I worked my first redeployment (homecoming) for this particular brigade last night. Most people who read my blog know about my angel pennies. I have worked hundreds of flights now and have easily given away hundreds of pennies. So I don't remember where all the pennies go..some yes..all NO. Last night on the tarmac I had a group of over 300 soldiers come home. As I was driving to the flight I noticed the gate to get on post was decorated with wreaths, garland and lights. As I passed thru I remembered thinking how awesome it was that the first Christmas lights these soldiers would see would be the ones where they are exiting the post. It seemed fitting in some way..like a greeting to them..a welcome home. So with that on my mind I went to the terminal to wait for the plane. And right on time the unmistakeble roar of the engines could be heard. I haven't had a plane come home yet that didn't give me butterflies. There is NO sight like seeing a soldier touch US soil again for the first time. Words cant describe the sense of pride you feel. For a group of over 300 this group was pretty quiet and laid back. and as they made their way inside they weren't rushed. Almost everyone of them made eye contact with me as he shook my hand..and every one said "thank you". It's truly moving when one wants to hug you..and you say "welcome home" and they quietly say.."thank you mam" as their head is against yours. We never go inside the terminal until the very last soldier is in. Each one gets welcomed home. The terminal is a huge open room...So I'm walking across this huge open room filled with soldiers and one soldier is making a bee line right for me. I don't realize it's ME he's coming to until he holds his arm and points to me. I stop..kinda stunned wondering what i had done wrong this time! lol...he gets close to me and says" 14 months ago as i was about to walk out to the plane, you gave me something. You told me to hang on to it and bring it back to you when I came home. I have had it with me every day of those 14 months. To be honest mam..I don't really want to give it back unless you really want it." I was grinning..and I knew what it was he had..but I asked anyway..he said," Mam it's a penny..and it has an angel cut out of it. And like I said you can have it back if you want it..because I gave you my word and all..I was worried the whole time I was over there because I couldn't remember what you looked like. and i was afraid I wouldn't know you..but as soon as i spotted you outside i remembered your smile..and I said to myself..THATS HER!!..so here I am mam." By this time I'm near tears..I hug him..and as i hug him I tell him, " No..you keep the angel..she's yours. I didn't want YOU to bring HER back...I wanted HER to bring YOU back...welcome home."

Thankful

I'm thankful for times like this...watching Charlie Brown with my son and my soldiers.

In Honor

Today is Veterans Day. A day set aside to take the time to honor the patriotism, courage and sacrifice of our armed forces. For all those past and present who dedicate their lives defending the freedoms of our country. I'm not sure exactly how to express my gratitude to these selfless men and women. Monthly for the last 23 months I have sent off and brought home plane after plane of soldiers returning from overseas. Yet I still don't know how to properly say thank you.

When a plane deploys the soldiers walk in single file line thru a line of cheering USO and Red Cross volunteers. At the end of the line are two American flags. I recently saw a soldier walk past the flag turn around come back and kiss the flag. This happened to be the same soldier who had earlier in the day told me he didn't mind going overseas. He said if he went, it meant another soldier got to come home. How can I properly thank him?

I'm lucky enough to also volunteer with veterans. They range from veterans of World War 2, The Korean War, Vietnam and the Gulf War. One day I was standing next to my friend Jack who is a Vietnam vet. He told me that he volunteers because he wants to make sure each soldier gets a proper welcome home. Because he didn't when he came home. After a few minutes of silence I softly said.."hey Jack..welcome home. I know it's late in coming, but welcome home." He looked down at the ground and said,"better late than not at all...thank you." How do I properly thank him?

How do I properly thank the guys I can see waving to me as their plane taxis away? Or the guy I saw get to the top of plane stairs only to turn to around and blow us all a kiss? Or the guy who was shaking so bad he couldn't put his angel penny on his dog tags? Or the guys who thank me for volunteering? Or the young girl I saw heading to the plane with a teddy bear sticking out the top of her back pack? Or the guy who is walking to the plane and looks back one more time? Or the line after line after line of soldiers I see heading off to war? Or the ones who come and sleep on my living room floor? Or the ones who play with my kids? Or the elderly man who served with pride? Or the man who struggled to get out his wheelchair to put a dollar in my donation bucket? Or the man leaning on his cane I stood next to last year in NYC who saluted the flag as it went by? How do I properly say thank you to any of them? I don't think I can..but until I find a proper way..I will just say thank you. Your sacrifice and service does not go unnoticed.

It Makes You Wonder

I took this picture a few nights ago and tonight I watched a sunset almost as beautiful. I'm always amazed by sunsets. I guess because it's the only one you will get for that day. You will never have another for that day..that's it..one shot. Kinda like life..you get one chance to live. As I sat and watched the sun go down beyond the trees and the colors deepen it was hard to imagine that anything bad or negative could be going on in this world we live in. But the deafening silence of my house stood as a stark reminder of the imperfect world we have. My husband and kids went to run errands..they didn't say they were leaving..didn't invite me to go or even say bye. They just left me..left me behind..alone. And while to some people that may not seem like anything bad..but to me..it is. it crushed me. I try to treat people like I would want to be treated. And I would have never done that to them. But..it is what it is.

So as I sat watching the sunset..I found myself deep in thought. I wondered how many people would not live to see another sunset. How many people would lose someone they loved before the next sunset. How many people had tears flowing down their cheeks just like I did. How many people sat hurting. How many people felt taken for granted. How many people tried so hard to give their life meaning. How many people knew they didn't matter. How many people tried so hard to make someone love them..only to realize that they couldn't. How many wondered if they disappeared would anyone even notice. How many people felt that no matter what they did they would never be accepted. How many people went to sleep hoping they wouldn't wake up. How many people did things that weren't appreciated. How many people smiled on the outside yet wept on the inside. How many people just wanted to love with all their heart and be loved in return. How many people were even taking the time to notice the sunset at all....once again..I'm alone.

September 12th on the Tarmac

September 12th, 2008

I spent all day yesterday watching TV and remembering 9/11 all over again. This is my first 9/11 since visiting Ground Zero last November. It's hard to believe I walked those same streets. The same streets that so many of my fellow Americans died on..cried on..bled on..ran for their lives on..stood in disbelief and horror of what they were witnessing. To say I have actually been there and walked on hallowed ground.it seems unreal to me. Maybe because 9/11 is the day that forever changed my life. I know it changed almost everyone's life in some way, but it had a profound effect on me. Having lived in a military town all of my life I had taken it all for granted...well all that came to an end. I got to see up close and personal the sacrifices that were being made by the men and women in uniform I had shared my community with. I knew it was time for me to give back. It was my turn to do something for them. I began sending letters and care packages over seas, then joined USO..and here I am..still going strong. The irony of all of it is yesterday was 9/11..the day that started it all for me. The day that caused the War on Terror to begin..and tonight 9/12, I sent off a plane of soldiers to go fight that war. Most of them only 18-19 years old. Most of them going for the first time..most of them quiet..some of them scared...none of them happy to be leaving their families. So in groups of 20 they walk in single file lines to the waiting plane. It was a beautiful night on the tarmac..a full moon with a few white clouds..a nice breeze. I watch as each goes up the stairs. A lot of them have tiny American flags stuck in their helmets. I can see the outlines of the flags against the full moon behind them. An incredible sight to see. And inside I'm dying..I have done over 400 flights..and I will never get used to seeing that line of soldiers leaving. The brave faces they try to put forth..and the ones that just can't take it and tears fall down their cheeks as they go by. I stand and wonder..yesterday was 9/11..and today they're going off to war..do they put the two things together? The whole reason they're going is because of yesterday..because of what yesterday meant. Then I wonder how many people put those two things together? Way too many people have forgotten 9/11..they moved on with life and put it behind them...yet here I am all these years later still sending young people off to fight the same war. The exact same war everyone supported 7 years ago. How do people forget? How can you forget?
So the plane is loaded and ready to go..I stand off from the crowd like I always do..I stand alone in the light so I can be seen. And I wave. I don't want them to think they have been abandoned. My eyes filled with tears when I saw a single window shade go down..then up..then down..then up..then I realized it was one of them letting me know they could see me. Then I saw other hands waving back and forth..they could see me and were waving back. I had to choke back sobs..they were actually waving back..not one or two..but several! It was at that moment that I knew I was where I was supposed to be. Call it fate, destiny, or just dumb blind luck..whatever it was..I was meant to be on that tarmac tonight..9/12 2008. God please be with them and bring them home. I will never forget..the troops are counting on me to remember!

Once In A While..If You're Lucky

Once in a while...if you're lucky..you make friends who help you be the person you want to be. They inspire, encourage and give you confidence. When you need advice or someone to listen, they're there. You know you can always count on them when you're down or in a bind. I am very lucky because I have quite a few people like that in my life. But I feel especially blessed for my friend CJ. Since I began blogging he has been my strength and the reason many people found my blog in the first place. He has a site: http://www.soldiersperspective.us/ and he refers people over to read my stories. In addition to that he supported me with the Microsoft Award happenings. IE my sounding board for my speech and asking his readers to go vote. One thing I most admire him for is his site www.theyhavenames.com/ which he started to make sure that fallen soldiers weren't just blips on the news..just faceless numbers in the paper. To make sure that everyone knows that each fallen has a family, has a face, a story..but most of all a name. He has a huge heart and I know writing these stories has to take a toll on him after a while. But he continues writing to make sure the fallen aren't forgotten.
He was in Savannah last week and I got to see him. It wasn't for long, but I was grateful for the little time we did have. I don't know when I'll see him again..and I can live with that . Because even though I don't see him in person..I know he's there when I need him . And that is a bond that no distance will break. I will accept only seeing him once in while..because I AM lucky. I hope my words are able to convey the heartfelt gratitude and admiration I have for him. The world would be a much better place if there were more people like him. Those of us who call him a friend truly have a treasure. Thank you CJ..thanks for just being you.

No distance of place or lapse of time can lessen the friendship of those
who are throughout persuaded of each other's worth....Robert Southey.

A Great Loss

On July 25th my father in law passed away at 74 years old. He suffered long and hard for over a year. But now he is at peace. He was so many things to so many people. Proof of that could be clearly seen at the line of people (which went well out the door) paying their respects at the funeral home. Knowing him was like reading a book. At the age of 15 his sister "doctored" his birth certificate so he could join the Marine Corps Reserve. Which he did and not long after that he found himself in Korea. He was wounded twice and survived the battle of the Chosin Reservoir which earned him the name of the "Chosin Few". He was very proud of his military service, as he should have been. The saying "Once a Marine always a Marine" never rang so true as with him. He has a room filled with military memorabilia. When I took my soldiers over for Christmas one year he took them in there. He shared stories with them about his time in hell. They appreciated his wisdom and service.

After serving in the reserves, he came home to be the closest thing I've ever known to Forrest Gump! He bought him a shrimp boat and became a shrimp boat captain. He didn't have a friend named Bubba, his first mates name was Pork Chop. There wasn't much he didn't know about the river, the ocean and seafood.

Fast forward to today..we laid him to rest today. He had full military honors..21 gun salute, TAPS and bagpipe playing the Marine Corps Hymn . My husband has been very strong thru all of this..up until they were lowering his casket. Everyone else had left, except me my husband and my daughter. From a distance we watched them take the site down. First the chairs, then the tent..one thing after another. As they were getting things ready and putting the lid on the vault which held his remains..I heard the unmistakable cry of a red tailed hawk. He was an avid bird watcher and loved hawks. So I hear the cry and look over our heads and there's the majestic bird he spent so many hours watching. It swooped right over our heads. soaring and plunging with grace. I placed my hand on my husbands shoulder and said," Hey honey..there goes your dad. The hawk came down and has him now..he's soaring up in the sky over us now." He looked at me with tear filled eyes and said,"I hope so." The casket began to go down and as if on cue an Air Force jet flew over,then another..then the third. Just as the casket was out of our sight the third jet came over. My heart caught in my throat as I witnessed the most incredible coincidence of my life...as the casket settled the jet tipped his wings to the right and went straight up into the clear blue sky. None of this was planned and I couldn't believe what I just saw. I looked at my husband and asked," did you see that!!??" He was speechless and just shook his head yes. Then he said thank you. He said he was so lost in thought that he never would have noticed the hawk or the jets. He thanked me for pointing it out to him. I think he found great comfort in these incredible coincidences. I was so glad to be able to do that for him. RIP Sonny..may you always soar on the wings of your hawk

American Rain

American Rain

I know for myself this 4th of July was different from years past. I usually have my family over for a cookout and we have fireworks. This year though it didn't happen. I'm not sure why, but it didn't. I remember grumbling because it just "didn't seem like the 4th." It was a little disappointing. Even though I had 3 of my soldiers, my friend John, my kids and my husband with me..it just didn't seem like the 4th.I'm not sure how I managed to do it, but I overlooked what I had been doing July 1st, 2nd and 3rd. It had slipped my mind that over those three days I had brought home several HUNDRED soldiers from Iraq. I had helped reunite all these families, yet it hadn't occurred to me. It wasn't until the night of the 6th that it all hit me. I, along with my other volunteers are standing on the tarmac waiting for a plane to come in. It's about 10 pm and as clear a night as you could ask for. I can see the lights of the plane..here it comes. As if on cue, just as the planes wheels touch the ground off in the distance, miles away, someone is setting off fireworks. But they hadn't been until the plane came. What an awesome coincidence!! A plane with 250 plus soldiers coming home from war and fireworks going off in the background. I was in awe. As I said it's 10pm so it's quite dark on the tarmac except for these huge lights that shine on the walkway to the plane. We're all standing in the shadows (not purposely) so the soldiers coming off the plane can't see us. We begin to applaud and cheer and they look over. As they look our way I step into the light..followed by my other volunteers. The soldiers faces lit up brighter than the runway lights! They were so thankful we were there. Each one had a big smile as they filed past. Then out of nowhere, not a cloud in the sky, it began to drizzle. Not enough to wet anything, but just enough to let you feel it. A soldier coming towards us stopped. He removed his helmet, tilted his face to the sky, held his arms wide open and as the rain drops fell he yelled," American Rain, American Rain!!! Thank You God..I love the rain!!" We all just stood there and watched this take place. Then he walked to us, gave the first lady a hug, and came to me and shook my hand. I told him welcome home and said ," I'll bet you didn't know, but we had it rain tonight just for you. We knew you were coming home." With an ear to ear grin he said, " Thank you mam, I never knew how much I missed rain......American rain." And he made his way inside the building. I saw him again later as he filed out to get on the bus. He waved his tiny American flag at me and bid me a goodnight. So after thinking of things..maybe the 4th of July wasn't such a disappointment after all. Maybe I should be thankful for every single thing in my life..whether it's big or small. One thing is for sure..I will always carry two images in my head..the fireworks going off in the sky behind that plane as it landed..and the image of that soldier with his face to the sky enjoying his American Rain.

My Perspective

My Perspective

I'm sitting here filled with so much emotion..a raw aching feeling in my heart. I know I should write something..I NEED and HAVE to write something. Yet I have no idea where to begin. I'm angry, I'm sad but most of all I'm reflecting. Reflecting over the last 15 months of my life. I can't watch TV anymore, because it makes me furious. I have yet to see a single commercial or program which deals with the meaning of Memorial Day. I see sales, cookouts, vacations..but no remembrance. Maybe if more people have spent the last months of their lives in the same way I have they'd get it. I was standing on the tarmac today next to the Adopt A Soldier lady here. We were standing in the rain bringing home a plane from Afghanistan. When the rain got too hard we moved under the over hang. We stood clapping as the soldiers made their way off the plane. The rain was really coming down..their first steps on American soil and it's pouring. But funny..they didn't seem to mind. I could hear someone yelling at them to do something with their weapons. In front of me stood 128 US soldiers..in the rain..fidgeting with the their weapons. I remarked to her that it doesn't seem real to be bringing home soldiers. She agreed. And then it hit me..since January of 2007, not a single month has gone by that I haven't sent off a plane. Every month..15 months..soldiers going out. thousands and thousands of faces and names. Hundreds of stories and memories. Each one burnt into my mind. haunted by ones who didn't come home. Thankful for each one who did or will. Plane after plane after plane. Waving to each one and praying for those on board..wondering if it will ever end..never ever getting used to seeing that line of backpacks walking to the stairs. Remembering every thank you mam..every word..every postcard or letter that gets placed in my hand. Every family that I feel I helped rip apart..Every hand I touch..every scared glance I return with a smile..every reassuring word I've given..every tear I've shed..every flag I've held..I too have had a 15 month deployment. I just never left home. So I ask of you..please..while doing your sale shopping..your BBQ's..your vacations...please take a moment and reflect and realize the meaning of this holiday. and say a prayer of thanks to all the families who will have that empty seat at their picnic table..that wedding that will never happen..that birthday that still comes but no reason to celebrate...please be grateful for the brave souls who sacrificed so much on our behalf.

Honoring Her Son

Honoring Her Son

Last week I was able to attend the homecoming of 294 soldiers from the 2nd Brigade Combat Team (2BCT) at Fort Stewart. The sun was shining ( it was hot!), the birds were singing and smiling faces were all around. Families had homemade signs, flowers and balloons all saying WELCOME HOME! It's an awesome thing to be there when soldiers come home from combat. The happiness and sheer joy can be felt in the air. So much so that you're almost able to forget where you are..you're almost able to ignore your surroundings, you're almost able to not notice the trees. But all you have to do is look left or look right..and there they are. They align the sides of Cotrell field with their majesty. Each one a testament to a fallen soldier..each one a living memorial. And they force you to remember those who didn't make it back. This day was no different. The welcome home ceremony was over. Family pictures were being made. People were milling about and leaving. Then I saw her..one lone mother with a bouquet of red, white and blue balloons blowing behind her in the breeze as she made her journey down that concrete path..making her way to her son..her sons' tree that is. This was her son's unit..they had come home. The other families got their soldiers back, she has a tree. The sadness of seeing her alone..walking down that long walk of trees.. made me silently praise her courage and strength. She made the trip to see the friends and comrades of her son come home. This had to be a painful day for her, yet there she was. And soon she wasn't alone, two soldiers had left their families and walked over to her and hugged her. As they stood looking at the tree one of them got weak in the knees and just sat straight down on the ground. The other knelt down and touched the granite marker engraved with the name of his friend. The mother stood between them, a hand resting on the back of each. Before long the Boy Scouts circled them and they all said a prayer. Then the Scouts left, the soldiers hugged the mom, walked back to their families and the mom was alone again. Just her and of course the tree

The Hardest Night

The Hardest Night

Last night I sent off a plane to Iraq. Out of the 4 years and hundreds of planes I've sent off, I think last night was the hardest yet. Driving to the airfield I saw the deploying soldiers with their families. I'm always grateful that I don't have to see this happening. But last night, there they were. I drove on with a sense of sadness. This is the hardest part of what I do. I sometimes feel I help in tearing families apart. Even though I know I don't, it can be very depressing. So I make it to the airfield and set up all of our tables and wait for the soldiers to get there. When they come in the building we're there to greet them as them come in a single file line. I notice one guy passes me with his arm bandaged. Hmmm..ouch. Once inside they eat chow and then come thru our line for the care bags we give them. With close to 200 soldiers in the room it's hard to spend a great deal of time talking to each one. So I'm handing out the bags and this one soldier was asking me about the CD in his bag. He's looking at it..and he starts sniffling. I thought he was pretending to cry. so jokingly I said,"what in the world are you crying about?" My heart almost stopped when he looked up..his eyes were brimmed with tears..he said," I miss my daughter..I didn't get to say goodbye." I told him it was ok..that he wasn't saying goodbye anyway..it was just see you later. he went on to tell me she would be five before he made it back home. It was his first child and that she was his life. I kept trying to console him. I slipped an angel penny into his hand as another soldier came up behind him. He moved on down the table away from me. I helped the next soldier, but kept my eye on the other. I finally lost sight of him in the sea of ACUs. A little while later I was talking to my other volunteer telling her about him. She said I should try to find him if it was bothering me so much. I looked and looked and never found him. A soldier overheard me talking to her..and he spoke up and said he knew who it was and he'd make him come back over to me. About 10 minutes later he came back and said he heard I was looking for him. I told him yes I was..that my aunt wanted to talk to him. So he went over and I saw her writing down his info. I went into the storeroom to get more supplies and as I was coming out he was coming toward me. I smiled at him and before I knew what happened he was hugging me and sobbing. Right in the middle of the busy room. His face was just buried in my neck and the sobs racked his body. I hugged him back and told him everything was going to be fine..please don't worry..it will be fine..I promise. I tried so hard to help him..I didn't know what to do. People were staring at us but I didn't care. At that point he and I were the only people in the room. I kept saying it will be ok ..and he kept saying yes mam..I finally had to let him go and with great reluctance he let me go. He looked down at me with the saddest eyes I've ever seen..he whispered..I'm sorry mam..I put my hand on his cheek and told him he nothing to be sorry for..he said thank you..and turned and walked away. By this time I too am crying..I'm trying so hard not to..but the tears are leaking out anyway. I went to the Adopt a Soldier table and found his card and got his name. About an hour later he was back at my table. He was trying to write a postcard home. But he couldn't write. He was the guy with the bandaged hand. I found out later he had dropped a TV on his hand and the pins were removed 4 weeks early so he could be deployed. Another soldier came up to him and wrote the post card for him. That was the most endearing sight. When they were finished writing he was walking away and I called him back over. I walked over to him and took my support our troops band off my wrist and gave it to him. "bring this back to me ok?" I told him. I told him I got his email and I was going to email him. Looking down at the wristband he said, "mam..what's your name?" I told him my name..and still looking down he said, "I want to thank you mam. I don't think you know how much you have helped me tonight..I really appreciate it." when he finally looked up his eyes were teared up again. I smiled and said..that's what I'm here for..and again he turned and walked away. I watched him go sit on the floor alone and look at the wristband. Then I put him on a plane and sent him away. And with a heavy heart I cried all the way home.

The Angel Penny and the Salute

Angel Penny and the Salute

I am currently in the midst of sending off the Indiana National Guard. This has been an amazing group of people to meet. They have been so gracious and friendly. I wish I could have met them all under different circumstances..a happier occasion than having to deploy them to Iraq. I was at one of the deployments the other night. I was standing at my postcard/letter writing table. I saw a young female approaching the table from my left. She had two cards in her hand. She stopped to place her cards in the mailbox we have for them. But before putting them in out of the corner of my eye I saw her close her eyes and kiss each one. Then I saw her put them up to her forehead as if she was filling them with her thoughts. As tears ran down her cheeks she ever so gently put the cards into the mailbox. Even though she was less than three feet from me I didn't want to invade on such a personal and private moment. She turned and went back over to her spot on the carpet. A while later I was going into our storeroom and she crossed right in front of me. I could she was still crying. I touched her arm and reached into my pocket and got something so tiny, yet so powerful..I got an angel penny, turned her hand over and placed it in her palm. I held onto her hand and looked in her eyes and told her not to worry..everything would be fine. With her bottom lip trembling she thanked me and I let her go. The time came for them to line up and she just happened to find herself in front of me again. She looked over and smiled. She held the penny up between two fingers and said," I still have it right here mam. I'll take good care of it." I knew in my heart that tiny penny meant something to her. She found comfort in a time and place that little comfort was available. I was glad I was there. The time came for them to board the plane. I'm standing inside the hallway looking into the room. One of the soldiers who had been training this group was standing next to me. I told him about seeing her cry and he asked me if I talked to her? I told him I did, but I didn't mention the penny. Then I saw her sitting up in the bleachers. She came down to find her place in the line. Her group started leaving and she came thru the doors and saw me standing there clapping for them as I always do. To my surprise to stopped in front of me, came to attention and saluted me. It took all I had to keep my composure. Then off she went to serve her country. The soldier next to me asked me if that was her? I shook my head that yes, it was. His next words I will never forget..he said, "Well, after seeing that..I'd say you helped her alright. I'd say you made a big difference to that young lady." I just stood quietly with my hand in my pocket rubbing an angel penny. Something so tiny yet so powerful.

It Matters

It Matters

When I was little I remember every time I left my grandmas house the last thing I saw was her waving. She stood in the doorway of the back door and waved, then went inside to her kitchen window and waved as we drove away. The last thing I always saw was her waving. I don't know if it's a southern thing or what, but I have carried on the tradition. I wave to my family until they're around the corner and out of sight and since being a USO volunteer..I wave to airplanes. I felt silly at first waving to a gigantic aircraft. But I knew the plane had windows and people were looking out. People who weren't going on a vacation. They were soldiers who were leaving their families behind and going into a foreign country. If anyone deserved to be waved to, it was the ones on that plane. So it began..the waving. With each flight I do my best to stay on the tarmac to see the plane off. And of course wave. I encourage anyone standing next to me to wave also. I tell them "not a sissy parade beauty queen wave..wave as if you're on a deserted island!" I have always wondered really if the soldiers on the planes noticed us out there. I knew some did..but I just always wondered still what it was like on the plane when they saw us. I had my question answered by one of the Indiana National Guardsman in an email to me. He had been outside with us on many deploying flights and I'm sure I wondered aloud about the waving. Well, he remembered. He said, "Oh by the way, we can see you waving. The whole plane got quiet and we all just watched you wave. I looked at the faces and wondered about all the things going thru their minds. Some of them even tried to wave back." When I read that email I cried. I cried so hard it surprised me. It was like years of questions and wondering had been answered. A sense of relief came over me because I KNEW something as simple as a wave mattered. It made a difference to those who needed it to. The thought of a deploying soldier looking out the plane window and seeing no one standing there has always been a thought I couldn't bear. The thought of them feeling abandoned was heartbreaking. I will do my very best to make sure that never happens on my watch. I will continue to wave. It's always the simple things we overlook so often. We take them for granted. My grandma passed away about 5 years ago. I'd give anything to see her wave just once more.