Ground Zero Pt. 2

On Tuesday November 15th, the day after the award ceremony I made my trip to Ground Zero. My friend Brian who nominated me for the award was kind enough to take me there. I didn't realize at the time how hard it was going to be on him to revisit the site. He lost a very good friend in the collapse so it really wasn't a place I should have let him take me. But being a former Marine, he wasn't going to let anything stop him. So..off we went. We parked, walked around a bit and saw the NYPD memorial then made our way over to the site. He was in front of me and my husband walking along behind us. He walked up to a fence covered in green mesh and stopped. You could hear the beeping sounds of back hoes, cranes moving things around and dump trucks running. My heart was pounding as I looked thru the crack in the mesh. My first thought was, "that's it? That's the site?" It looked just like another construction site. But as you made your way along the fence you saw the posters.."Remembering 9/11" Tribute" "Reflect" Repledge" Never Forget" World Trade Center Memorial Fund" all of them reminding you that THIS is NOT just another construction site. We came to big gate and you got a better view of things. A policeman on the site told us we were looking at the only remaining piece of the original towers. It was a cement stairwell. Around the corner we found the subway station, with more posters and pictures. Around the next corner we found the WTC Tribute Museum. I wanted to go in but I felt so guilty about making Brian go thru it that I declined. But Brian..being Brian..tough guy that he is..insisted he was fine..that we were going in. Before I could protest anymore he paid the admission and we were in. I don't think any of us were expecting what we found inside. I have watched every special ever made on September 11. I have seen thousands of pictures. But until you're there..actually seeing it with your own eyes..you can't grasp it. One wall was covered with the "missing" posters family members made. The museum was sort of crowded so I didn't stay in one spot too long. I knew if I did I'd lose it. Then I came to this glass case..in it contained the picture you see above. It is the jacket of FDNY firefighter Jonathan Ilepi. I have seen his father Lee many times on the TV specials. I was so moved by his story that it haunted me for months after hearing it. He went to the site every single day at first with the hopes that his son was trapped yet alive. Then with just the hopes of bringing his son home. About 90 days later he was able to do just that. He returned to the site in the middle of the night to carry his beloved son out of the rubble. And now...here in front of me..was the jacket of that son. I pressed my fingertips to the cold glass and swallowed this big lump in my throat. I was not going to cry..i was not going cry..i was not going to cry..damn it! I look up and I see Brian. He's standing in front this huge wall of pictures. All smiling faces looking back..pictures of family vacations, weddings..all pictures of people who were lost. I walk over to Brian and he's looking at this one picture in particular. Quietly he says..that's my friend..that's Richie . He let's out this sigh and walks away. Now I'm feeling really good about dragging him down here. I felt so selfish and so bad. I turn to look for him and on the wall is a quilt made by children. Each square had a different saying but each one beginning with the words .."somewhere today...." Well that quilt did it..the tears started falling. I went down these stairs where I found both Brian and Bill. Brian called me over and showed me a tile that had been painted. On that tile was a paw print..it was Sirius' tile. On it was written, "he came when called".. after writing several tributes to Sirius I have a special fondness for him. I feel he is the forgotten victim simply because he is not a human. So seeing that finally somebody remembered him was more than I could take. Thankfully the restroom was right behind me. I went into a stall and sat..and sobbed. I cried tears for Lee Ilepi, for every smiling face I'd seen posted on the walls, for every family member who had to make those missing posters, the little boy who wrote a note to his dad and asked him to please come home, for every dream that was shattered on that day, for every life that was lost. I cried until I had nothing left. Once I regained my composure I went back out and finished my day. One thing is for sure though...I will never forget those tears I left behind at that museum.