Nose Prints On a Glass Front Door

One month ago today I lost my best friend Pepsi. I'm still not quite "right". I know that time is supposed to heal all wounds, but I think the person who made that up never suffered pet loss. I'm not saying that losing a person is any less painful. It's just a different kind of pain for me. The guilt is overwhelming at times. I have relived that moment when I opened the garage door and found her lying lifeless on the cold concrete more times than I can count. I see her everywhere I go. I expect to see her coming across the yard to follow me like she always did. Out of the corner of my eye I can see her sitting on the couch. I catch myself going to feed her. But the hardest thing has to be the nose prints on the glass front door. She didn't like being by herself so when you put her outside she didn't like it. She would sit at the door and look in at us. If we tried to ignore her she would scratch the door. and continue scratching it until you opened it and let her in! All the while she's smearing and smudging the glass with her nose. Leaving her mark. It would take me forever to clean that door. But now I can't find the heart to clean it. So the prints remain. The prints are all i have left of her and I know once they're gone..she will be too. i have many times sat and traced the smudges with my fingertips..remembering the face that put them there. How she would fog up the glass with her hot dog breath. So now my door is streaked both outside and in. The outside with her nose prints and the inside with my tears.